Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hot Dog... The Movie (1984)

“I was mixing a drink and I hit a tree.”

The Story: 
Down home boy, Harkin Banks (Patrick Houser) picks up a tight-pantsed hitchhiker, Sunny (Tracy Smith), after she’s tossed out of her former ride for not blowing the driver. She’s on the way to San Fran, in no hurry, and decides to take a ride with Harkin to the skiing world championships at Squaw Valley. There, he runs into the Rat Pack, party-throwing, beer drinking misfits that are encompassed of virtually the entire tour except for the Austrian asshole, Rudi (John Patrick Reger) and his horde of brownnosers. The leader of the pack is Dan O’Callahan (David Naughton), a grizzled, drunken vet of the circuit and the man Rudi is most infatuated with destroying. After defeating prodigy Harkin by suspicious means, Dan gets fed up and challenges Rudi to a Chinese downhill race; first one to the bottom takes all. No rules. No holds barred.

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Van (1977)

"There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down...”

The Story:

Bobby (Stuart Goetz) has just graduated from high school and has built up a decent amount of savings from working at the local car wash. College fund? No way! A hapless geek, Bobby instead blows it all on the sweetest van in town with the singular, express purpose to get laid. The object of his affections is the super hot Sally (Connie Hoffman), but she’s dating badass douche Dugan Hicks (Steve Oliver). As he embarks on a summer of debauchery with his buddies (and his van), Bobby discovers the joys of fat chicks, Lucky Lager-fuelled partying, and, perhaps, true love with the meek but sweet Tina (Deborah White).

Monday, July 18, 2011

Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

“Matthew, the summer’s over. I wanna hear your plan.”
"I guess my plan is to keep working at Suncoast video until I figure out what I wanna do with my life." 

The Story:

It’s Labor Day Weekend 1988, and Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) is an MIT grad who indeed has taken a job as a clerk at Suncoast Video until his life takes some sort of direction.  One day, his high school crush, Tori (Theresa Palmer) , strolls into his store. To impress her, he claims that he’s an investment banker at Goldman Sachs; the ruse seems to work, as she invites him to an annual Labor Day bash that just happens to be hosted by the boyfriend of Matt’s twin sister (Anna Faris). With his buddy Barry (Dan Fogler) in tow, Matt prepares to finally let loose and have the night of his life.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Beach Party (1963)

"Nothin' is greater than the sand, surf n' salt air,
Unrack our boards just as soon as we get there!
Stack 'em in the sand while they're breaking just right,
Yeah, we're surfin' all day and we're swingin' all night!
Vacation is here! Beach Party tonight!"

The Story: 

Frankie's (Frankie Avalon) got it all planned out: even his prudish brunette sweetheart Dolores (Annette Funicello) can't say no when he's got her all to himself after some fun in the sun at a romantic beach house. A foolproof plan, indeed... until he carries her across the threshold into their little hideaway and trips on a pile of tired, partied-out teenage guys. A step ahead of him once again, Dolores has invited all their friends to the beach for some surf, sun and maybe a little s-e-x for everyone except poor Frankie. A playful jealousy arises between the two lovebirds and they begin using their attractions for other guys and gals against the other, with Frankie falling for the horny, Hungarian hostess, Ava (Eva Six) and Dolores taking a shine to the much older Professor Sutwell (Robert Cummings). Sutwell is an anthropologist studying developmental biology, in lame man's terms, he's basically studying the mating rites of sixties California girls and boys. Will Frankie and Dee-Dee go their separate ways or will Frankie finally say those three big words that every girl weeps to hear and every guy weeps to say?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Up in Smoke (1978)

"You wanna get high, man?”
“Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls, man?”

The Story:

Anthony (Tommy Chong) and Pedro (Cheech Marin) are a couple of guys in search of the simple pleasures in life: good tunes, hot women, and prime weed. After Pedro picks up a hitch-hiking Anthony in his “Love Machine,” the boys embark on a series of smoked-out misadventures. Their exploits eventually land them south of the border and afoul of the cops, who end up chasing the duo after they unwittingly commandeer a van made entirely of marijuana.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Zapped! (1982)

“First comes the women…then the whiskey!”

The Story:

Barney Springboro (Scott Baio) is a geeky high school kid who holes himself up in the science lab on a daily basis. A freak accident results in him gaining telekinetic powers, which he begins to use for his own personal gain. Along with his buddy Peyton (Willie Aames), he combats bullies and tries to score with girls, all while learning to harness his strange gift.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Honorary Graduate - Edward 'Peewee' Morris

Character Profile - Edward 'Peewee' Morris

  • APPEARED IN: Porky's (1982), Porky's II: The Next Day (1983), Porky's Revenge (1985)
  • ACTOR: Dan Monahan
  • QUOTE: "I tore her up. She's ruined!"
  • ARCH NEMESIS: The ruler in his nightstand, his virginity.
  • INTERESTS: Peeping in the girls' shower, loose women, Swedish chicks, wet dreams, running train, streaking, hitting up Porky's, religiously maintaining a penis growth chart, pranks, library porn, basketball, Shakespeare... sort of.
  • DISTINGUISHABLE TRAITS: Often in a state of arousal, easily hoodwinked, goofball, brunt of most jokes, sensitive. They don't call him 'Peewee' for nothing.