Quotes Database

Click on the quotes below to find out which films they are from!

  • "Bubba says we did it once and it was very good for both of us, but I was passed out I don't remember a thing.”

  • “I’m driving this rich couple around in my limo, right? Then, get this; Mr. Big Bucks waves a couple twenties in front of my face. Says he wants me to get it on with his wife while he watches, right? You know what I’m talkin’ about, right, snapperhead?”

  • "Andy, have you seen my swimming buddy? If I can't find him, I'm telling Beth that you let him drown."
    -"I was busy!"

  • "The models are all full figured. Do you like thick women?"
    -"No. But you don’t always have the choice."

  • "My breasts, how do you like them?"
    -"Oh, they're, uh...very nice."
    "Would you like to touch them?"

  • "You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N."

  • "It happened again..."
    -"Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

  • “Many surfers ride summer and winter, but the ultimate thing for most of us would be to have an endless summer; the warm water and waves without the summer crowds of California. The only way to do this is by traveling around the world, following the summer seasons as it moves around the world.”

  • "Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!”
    - "Yeah! Yeah yeah! All the things that make life worth living for!"

  • "Look mom, I'm 18 years old and I can do whatever I want!”

  • "Hey, you guys got any protection?"
    -"Yeah, is this enough?"
    "Yeah...for now."

  • "Hey, Hoops, you ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?"

  • "Things sure have changed since we got kicked out of high school!"

  • "Midget! Wanna see a man's dick?"

  • I'll probably just use her for the rest of the summer and then throw her on the scrap heap with all the rest of the women that I've destroyed!"

  • "The kids play with their joysticks day in and day out; jerking them back and forth, sweating on them and they don’t even clean them off when they’re through!"

  • “Tack, you cack!”

  • "I’m Andrea Larson… watch out, Zack or you’re going to walk into a wall!"
    - "Well, hey, love hurts!"

  • "Southern Comfort, is that your handle?"
    - "Yeah, I’m a little aged, but I go down smooth."

  • “What am I doing here, Benoit? I'm not happy. I'm not made for the country. I hate it here. I wanted to buy a hotel in the States. Your aunt wouldn't let me. She says no to everything. I'm afraid of corpses. I've been afraid of corpses for 30 years! I work for everybody. Your aunt never gave me a child. I have to take care of other peoples' children. I raise Carmen and you. Haven't I done all I could for you?”

  • “I shot Santa Claus in the face--he's real, and I shot him in the face!”

  • "Why does everything has to be a huge argument with you, man?”
    - "Because this is America, dude, and as long as I have my freedom of speech, no one's going to shut me up!"

  • “Did Doogie Houser just steal my car?”

  • "Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.”
    - “Hey, I got a social disease!”

  • “This is our time.”

  • "I tell you what I'd like to do - I'd like to fold a Playboy centrefold into every one of Reverend Shaw's hymnbooks!”

  • “All you need is scented candles, massage oil, and Barry White. Write that down. Look at me. No cock pump.”
    - “No cock pump. Barry White.”

  • “Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

  • “I need something to cover my boobs.”
    - "I’ll cover your boobs!”

  • “Must have been a bumper crop--that's biggest cucumber I ever did see for a white boy!”

  • "Fort Lauderdale is a zoo. It's full of millions of guys who are just lookin' for animal sex and debauchery."
    - "Exactly--that's why we're going!”

  • “What the hell is this mountain coming to? Half naked girls walking around at 9:30 in the morning? Last year they were completely naked by 9:30 in the morning!”

  • “Just say we are too late, and Leezar was able to...get her cookies. Would you still want her?”
    - "I don't want to think about that."
    - "Yes, I know...but what if he buttfucked her?"

  • "Are you gonna probe us?"
    - "Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?"

  • "You wished for my life when we were pissing in that fountain!"

  • "Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?”
    - "What do you mean?"
    - "I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend."
    - "No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night."

  • "I was mixing a drink and I hit a tree."

  • "There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down..."

  • “Matthew, the summer’s over. I wanna hear your plan.”
    - "I guess my plan is to keep working at Suncoast video until I figure out what I wanna do with my life."

  • "Nothin' is greater than the sand, surf n' salt air,
    Unrack our boards just as soon as we get there!
    Stack 'em in the sand while they're breaking just right,
    Yeah, we're surfin' all day and we're swingin' all night!
    Vacation is here! Beach Party tonight!"

  • “You wanna get high, man?”
    - "Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls, man?"

  • “First comes the women…then the whiskey!”

  • "I tore her up. She's ruined!"

  • "But it’s to help raise money to save the beach!"
    - "By exploiting the attributes of women’s bodies for the lustful cravings of chauvinistic male morons? In other words, we think it’s a great idea! Where do we sign?!"

  • "When I first started teaching, I thought I was doing it for all the right reasons: shorter hours, summers off, no accountability…"

  • “I realized our time of growing up together was over…”

  • “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

  • “Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.”

  • "If I blow grass, I’ll be riding more than your board! How’re you hanging?"

  • "Nobody talks to children."
    - "No, they just tell them."

  • "Get your bugaloos out, baby! The Wolfman is everywhere."

  • “First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. ‘Oh, Debbie. Hi.’ Two, you always call the shots. ‘Kiss me. You won't regret it.’ Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. ‘Isn't this great?’ Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. ‘Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.’ And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."

  • "Hey, Reg, man, give me a beer! Getting’ cottonmouth. Reg? Oh, man. Boy, you guys man, you sure don’t know how to party, man. Boy, when I was your age. We partied, man. Well, talk about party, might as well get one goin’!"

  • "You could always subscribe to a site like 'Perfect Ten'. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site."
    - "Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in, which is a huge concern."

  • "If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fucking kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. A shotgun to the dick."

  • "I'm not a real teacher!"


















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