Sunday, October 14, 2012

Private Resort (1985)

“Hey, you guys got any protection?”
"Yeah, is this enough?"
"Yeah...for now."

The Story:

Jack and Ben (Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow) are a couple of normal (read: horny) guys who are spending the weekend at a swanky resort. Soon after they arrive, they’re on the hunt, seemingly falling in love with every girl’s body that they see. Meanwhile, a jewel thief (Hector Elizondo) is on the hunt for a valuable diamond that just happens to be owned by the grandmother of one of Jack’s conquests. Paths cross and one screwball antic leads to another, and the two guys might not only lose the girls, but their lives as well!

One Crazy Summer (1986)

"Hey, Hoops, you ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?”

The Story:

Graduation day is upon us at Generic High School, where Hoops McCann (John Cusack) and his buddy George Calamari (Joel Murray) are about to walk across the stage before jumping right into summer break. After they pick up aspiring singer/songwriter Cassandra (Demi Moore), who is on the run from a biker gang, they board a ferry to Nantucket, where a bizarre cast of characters awaits. Among them is a sleazy Beckersted family, who intend to claim the estate of Cassandra’s grandfather and turn into the site of a new restaurant.

Murmur of the Heart (1971)

“Midget! Wanna see a man's dick?”

The Story:

Fourteen year-old Laurent (Benoit Ferreux) is being shown the way of the world by his older brothers, a charmingly devious couple of 18-or-sos that carouse, gallivant with women, steal money from their mother and pull pranks to pass the time in 1954 France. Their mother, Clara (Lea Massari) shows an obvious shine to the virtuoso in comparison to the other boys and has a tendency to be juvenile herself. Laurent is well on his way in following in his brother’s footsteps; he drinks, smokes and is naturally curious about the opposite sex. Figuring it’s about time for Laurent to become a man, they take him to a brothel for his first sexual experience only to barge in before the act was finished. Another Chevalier boys prank. Laurent goes off to summer camp, but comes down sick with a heart murmur, to which he and his mother must leave home and stay at a hotel to receive treatments. A booking misunderstanding causes them to have to share a room together, which ultimately leads to the two of them having their own sexual encounter.

Rock N' Roll High School (1979)

"Things sure have changed since we got kicked out of high school! "

The Story:

To say the kids of Vince Lombardi High School are out of control would be an understatement; these rock n’ roll loving party animals sent their last principal straight to the loony bin. Led by Riff Randell (P.J. Soles), the student body must now endure the wrath of new principal, Miss Togar (Mary Woronov) who is on a crusade to rid the teenagers of their beloved rock music, especially The Ramones (Joey, Marky, Johnny and Dee Dee), the legendary rock group that just so happens to be coming to town for a performance. Intent on getting the band to take a look at a song she wrote for them, Rock N’ Roll High School, Riff waits in line for three days and snags tickets only to have them taken away by Togar who subsequently arranges for all rock albums to be burned. Hell bent in leather, Riff and her buddy Kate (Dey Young) plot to make The Ramones honorary students of Lombardi High and take over the school to oust Togar with a bang!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dirty Dancing (1987)

"Sorry for the interruption, folks, but I always do the last dance of the season."

The Story:

In the summer of 1963, 17-year-old Baby (Jennifer Grey) and her family take their annual trek to a secluded resort in upstate New York. While there, she meets dancing instructor Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) and unexpectedly becomes his dance partner when his current one (Cynthia Rhodes) becomes pregnant, much to the dismay of her father (Jerry Orbach).

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Meatballs (1979)

"I'll probably just use her for the rest of the summer and then throw her on the scrap heap with all the rest of the women that I've destroyed!"

The Story:

School’s out for summer, which means it’s time for Camp North Star to open for business again. Awaiting this year’s newest crop of campers is head counselor Tripper (Bill Murray) and crew, who will introduce them to the wonders of shenanigans and pranks. They’ll also teach them some important lessons in self-respect and friendship, too, particularly Rudy (Chris Makepeace), an introvert who Tripper attempts to coax out of his shell as the summer wears on.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Joysticks (1983)

"The kids play with their joysticks day in and day out; jerking them back and forth, sweating on them and they don’t even clean them off when they’re through!"

The Story: 

With chicks hanging off each arm, Jeff Bailey (Scott McGinnis) runs River City’s arcade, the local headquarters for teens to get away from their parents and trade quarters for video game action. Other than rare altercations with the moronic punker, King Vidiot (Jon Gries) and his followers, everyone from the cute little rich girl to the hapless nerd to the unkempt fat man get along in perfect harmony amidst the faint glows of the game machines. That is, until bellyacher Rutter (Joe Don Baker) gets a stick up his ass because his young daughter keeps hanging out at this misunderstood establishment he considers a cesspool of depravity. Along with his duo of goofball nephews, they vow to shut down the arcade and bring good moral standing back to the misled youth that video games are tarnishing.

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Stoned Age (1994)

"Tack, you cack!"

The Story:

Word on the street is Crump's brother (Michael Wiseman), well known across town for almost killing a Samoan dude, is back in town... and he's got some ladies lined up down by the Frankie Avalon place in Torrance Beach. As the story spreads like wildfire, two long-haired stoners named Joe and Hubbs (Michael Kopelow and Bradford Tatum) cruising their Blue Torpedo Volkswagon learn from a goofball named Tack (Clifton Collins Jr.) that these chicks aren't just any chicks... they're fine chicks! After hitting Tack up for his share of gas money (all of it) and immediately ditching his ass at the station, the boys hit the road in search of the fine ones. Little do they know that a new word is passing through the grapevine and the tough as nails Crump's brother has found out these scruffy high school kids are trying to worm his chicks!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Project X (2012)

"Is this big enough to be cool?”

The Story:

For his 17th birthday party, Thomas’s (Thomas Mann) buddies have decided to give him the ultimate gift: a huge party that will enable all of them to be popular. They’ve even hired a nerdy kid from the A/V club to capture all of the footage, which ends up being a chronicle of one of the most outrageous house parties of all time when a horde of guests descend upon the neighborhood.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Myth of the American Sleepover (2010)

"I just feel like I should have done more this summer...”

The Story:

As another school year looms, a group of kids (ranging from incoming high school freshman to a rising college senior) are spending the last gasps of summer vacation roaming suburban Michigan. Boys and girls alike are also gathering for sleepovers and parties, which find them all searching for companionship and adventure as night falls.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style (1992)

"I’m Andrea Larson… watch out, Zack or you’re going to walk into a wall!"
"Well, hey, love hurts!"

The Story: 

Quaint vacation spot, the Hawaiian Hideaway is the destination of the Saved by the Bell gang, who are spending a well deserved summer away from Bayside High, books and teachers at Kelly’s (Tiffani Thiessen) grandfather’s hotel. Upon arrival, they learn that a greedy hotel conglomerate is frothing at the mouth to get their hands on the fledgling Hideaway, just weeks away from foreclosure. Moments after arriving from the mainland, the teens run into their Principal, Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins), whom is the figurehead in charge of booking hotels and arranging activities for a principal’s convention taking place on the island. Sensing a way to get Kelly’s grandfather back on his feet, they sabotage the tour’s service at the ritzy, immoral hotel and convince Belding to bring his group to the Hideaway, where they’ve all dedicated their services free of charge to provide the cozy, down to earth retreat with necessary staff. Left without much of a choice, Belding agrees as 40 principal’s vacations are either going to be ruined or saved by the same type of scheming brats they longed to get away from!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The First Time (1968)

"You guys are acting like a bunch of sex fiends!"

The Story:

Kenny’s (Wes Stern) dad has a job that requires a lot of relocating, so he soon finds himself forced to move when his dad takes a new position. This separates Kenny from his buddies, Mike and Tommy (Ricky Kelman and Wink Roberts), whom he still stays in touch with by writing letters. One of his correspondences mentions a Canadian whorehouse he frequents, so the Mike and Tommy hop on a bus with the intentions of joining their buddy on his exploits. The only problem is that said exploits are entirely fictional, so the three guys head to the Great White North in search of a house of ill repute that doesn’t even exist; instead, they find a normal girl (Jacqueline Bisset) whom they mistake as a prostitute.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Hardbodies (1984)

"Southern Comfort, is that your handle? "
"Yeah, I’m a little aged, but I go down smooth. "

The Story: 

Good-hearted malingerer Scotty Palmer (Grant Cramer) has finally pushed his landlord too far and finds himself without a place to live, crashing on the beach with nothing but a blanket and some beer. A natural with the ladies and hotshot bullshitter, Scotty insists that “dialogue” is the key to a woman’s heart – even if said dialogue rarely comes from his own. His girlfriend, Kristi (Teal Roberts) and best dude, Rag (Courtney Gains) are the only people he isn’t constantly trying to get over on, as three thirty year-olds soon find out when they discover him joyriding with babes in their convertible. The trio asks Scotty for tutelage on how to score with the beach’s many Hardbodies, even going so far as to offer him hundreds of dollars a month and the use of their luxurious beach house as a home and party pad in return. With his back against the wall, the reluctant Scotty sees he has no choice and takes on the arduous task of turning the sleazy businessmen into babe magnets.