Monday, August 29, 2011

Where the Boys Are '84 (1984)

"Fort Lauderdale is a zoo. It's full of millions of guys who are just lookin' for animal sex and debauchery."
"Exactly--that's why we're going!”

The Story:

Four curvaceous co-eds are beset with the great college quandary as spring break approaches: do they hit the slopes or head for the beach? It’s looking like a beach party tonight as the gals head down to sunny Fort Lauderdale, which has been seized by a throng of college students who have turned it into wasteland of alcohol fuelled debauchery. Some have arrived in search of love, some simply to get laid, but all hope to have the wildest week of their lives.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Ski School (1990)

“What the hell is this mountain coming to? Half naked girls walking around at 9:30 in the morning? Last year they were completely naked by 9:30 in the morning!”

The Story:

When John (Tom Bresnahan) enrols in Ski School, a competition ran and almost always won by wunderkind lowlife Reid Janssens (Mark Thomas Miller), he’s given the team of section 8, a carefree bunch of party animals and losers whom aren’t part of any official team’s entry. Running afoul of Reid quickly due to his natural talent, John is the best skier and the biggest womanizer in the section, managing to bed a sweet little blonde he may or may not have feelings for and a new face on the mountain; a leggy, tanned babe with huge cans. After being disqualified from the events due to their unprofessional behavior, the crazy 8 decide to crash the championship in a bevy of beer, babes and balloons. When the audience chants, “let them ski!”, Reid and his investors have a decision to make. Piss off the people, or settle this once and for all.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Your Highness (2011)

“Just say we are too late, and Leezar was able to...get her cookies. Would you still want her?”
"I don't want to think about that."
"Yes, I know...but what if he buttfucked her?"

The Story:

After being accused of sleeping with a dwarf king’s wife, degenerate Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride) must use his wits and luck (mostly luck) to escape and return home to his kingdom. Upon arriving there, he learns that his brother, the more admirable Fabious (James Franco), is also returning from a heroic quest. Fabious not only triumphantly carries the head of a cyclops, but also a beautiful young bride (Zooey Deschanel). However, the wedding festivities are interrupted by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux), who kidnaps her with the intentions of raping her to fulfill an ancient prophecy that will give birth to a dragon. With a legion of knights in tow, the two brothers set out on a quest to save the young princess--that is, if Thadeous can get his shit together, of course.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Paul (2011)

"Are you gonna probe us?"
 "Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?"

The Story:

Graeme Willy (Simon Pegg) and Clive Gollings (Nick Frost) are a couple of British geeks who are making the nerdiest pilgrimage of them all: the annual San Diego Comic-Con. This just serves as a mere undercard to their main event, however, as they engage on a barnstorming tour of the southwest, hitting notorious hotspots for UFO sightings and alleged alien activity. They end up having a very close encounter of the raucous kind when they stumble upon Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen), an alien life form who is on the lamb, having escaped from the government agents that have kept him captive for over 30 years. Along the way, they pick up a sheltered religious zealot, Ruth, (Kristen Wiig) as they attempt to elude various authorities.

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Change-Up (2011)

"You wished for my life when we were pissing in that fountain!"

The Story:

The latest victims of the standard Hollywood body switcheroo plot are Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds. Dave (Bateman) is a workaholic lawyer with a wife and three kids (two of which are newborn kids with a penchant for literally crapping in his face); meanwhile, Mitch (Reynolds) is an aspiring (read: unemployed) actor with little responsibilities and even less tact. After a night of drinking, the two piss into a public fountain and jokingly wish they could see how the other half lives; they must have crossed the streams because their wish comes true when they wake up in each other’s body and proceed to wreck each other’s lives.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Animal House (1978)

"Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?”
"What do you mean?"
"I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend."
"No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night."

The Story:

School is about to be back in session at Faber College for the 1962 school year, and two hapless freshmen (Tom Hulce and Stephen Furst) hope to gain entry into the prestigious Omega fraternity. That doesn’t quite work out, so they’re forced to settle for Delta House, a dilapidated old shack that houses the campus goofballs and ne’er-do-wells. Perpetually on probation and at odds with both the stuffy Omegas and finicky Dean Wormer (John Vernon), the group is placed on “Double Secret Probation” for the upcoming semester. This doesn’t prevent them from engaging in a debaucherous term filled with drinking, road trips, and, of course, toga parties!